One of the things I like to do the week between Christmas and New Year’s is to reflect and plan. I find the process in invigorating. Instead of making a bunch of resolutions, I prefer to look back and celebrate my progress and growth. And truthfully, I begin this process right after Thanksgiving.
2018 may have been my biggest year of challenges and growth yet. In the latter months of 2017 I embarked on filling my mind with material that would help me develop personally and as a business leader. I was spending lots of time driving back and forth from my parents’ houses in Texas so I listened to several audio books. I credit these books for being part of an amazing journey of self discovery and growth.
For the last 5 years I have picked a word to be my theme word for the year. In November 2017, after powerful conversation with my friend Lisa, I chose the word flourish for 2018. I had big hopes for what I thought this word would mean to me. However, 2018 has taught me that before I can flourish, I must be willing to prune what no longer serves me. In my case it was thought processes, self talk, and how I was showing up in my relationships and as a business owner.
Flourishing in 2018 also meant saying goodbye to my father last January and holding his hand as he left this earth for his heavenly home. It certainly didn’t feel like I was flourishing as I struggled to get out of bed the following six weeks. My grief coupled with stress of running a business flared up an autoimmune disease, lymphocytic colitis, which I had successfully conquered in 2015.
Yet sitting in my sadness and discomfort long enough, eventually spurred me to seek professional help in the way of a gastroenterologist and licensed counselor. This is where the pruning began to intensify and I learned how to set healthy boundaries and reframe situations to see their true potential from a positive and productive standpoint.
A key lesson for me in 2018 has been that you can be doing everything right: diet, training, stretching, but if you don’t have your crap together mentally and emotionally, you’ll never be fully firing on all cylinders. While running is a great stress reliever, you still have to deal with your stuff. Numbing out with wine, anxiety meds, Netflix or even a great workout, might make you easier to get along with in the short term; but it won’t fix your problems.
It wasn’t until I learned how to deal with my stuff…the things in my life that were causing me stress and anxiety… that my so called “running injuries” subsided. And every time they flared up again, I began to do a check of what was out of balance in my life. I became aware of slipping into old patterns of fear, guilt and feeling responsible for the happiness of everyone in my life.
For years I have told myself that I thought God used those times of not being able to run as a way to get my attention. Boy, I had no idea how true that really was. It just took a while to figure out what He was trying to teach me. It took me really having a strong desire to grow and flourish in order to be receptive to changes that needed to be made holistically. I had done the work physically and spiritually prior to 2018, but now I was finally ready to do the work mentally and emotionally.
Reflecting on 2018 I celebrate that I am flourishing in bigger and more powerful ways that I imagined in 2017 when God placed the word flourish on my heart. I celebrate the renewal of a desire to help others through this blog and online platform. I celebrate that I now show up for my staff as a leader empowered with a clear vision for the future of her business. I celebrate my family, their unique God given gifts, and their ability to create their own happiness.
Welcome 2019! I am courageous and empowered to take massive action on the opportunities you have in store of me!
What are you celebrating as you reflect on 2018? Leave a comment below!
